Final journey

Thanks to the modern technology.
I get to attend my granny's funeral and walk her final journey.
I am so sorry I cried so hard throughout the process.
I won't say I missed her the most, because I knew my aunt, dad, mom and sis missed her as much as I do.
She was a lovely lady, she always smile and very polite to others.
She was a food lover until she got diagnosed diabetes.
Yet it doesn't stop her wish on food craving.. That's brought her closer to the kidney failure few years back..
She has tubes fixed for dialysis ..
From time to time, she became lazy and reluctant to walk..
Because of that her leg muscle is not strong causing her to suffer pain when she was walking..
These days I cried hard because of one question..
What was she doing when she was alone at home everyday?
Her daughter, son and daughter in law were working, her grandchildren were out of state studying / working..
How did she came through these years where no one is around her when she has all these sickness.. She has to inject insulin by herself, check her blood glucose by herself etc...
My heart was so pain whenever I think of this.. I am so sorry.. I didn't play my role to accompany her with most of my time.. I only visited her when I went back home every few months..
Yet she was grateful when I brought her out for food and travel..
Every now and then, when I recalled she keep saying thank you through our last few calls, my tears just dropped off by itself.. "Don't say thank you for what I did, I should have did those everyday.."

This time makes me think of do I really need to stay away from home?
I should do my best before same regret happens? 
Should I give up what I wished for to not letting my family down?

#5membersnow

You will be missed

She is gone to heaven..
She is finally free from pain..
She must be happy because she can eat the foods she like.. Go places she wants without wheelchair.. No more pills and dialysis..
Im glad, I get to see her everyday through the phone on her last few days..
You are always the best granny..
My best secret keeper..
My best travel mate..
Im doing my best to stay calm and strong..
Our memories are the most treasured heirloom.
I will miss you forever, ahma..
I love you..
K..

Complicated Day

We got position in ice cream factory. We decided to take another part time job since the ice cream end shift at 130pm. Will be a tough month..

My aunt and parents decided to let my granny go for her last dialysis on tomorrow. That means let it be. I might return to Pg anytime for the memorial or etc.. I didn't want to back now, because I don't want to face the reality. I still hope there is a mere chance my granny will wait till I return Msia on June. My sis say she doesn't want me to regret. And I will not..            k..

Vege Week

First of all, I just ordered a menstrual cup from Amazon this afternoon. It is expected to reach my door in two weeks time. Okay, I chose the cheapest shipping fee. Things are not cheap, it was in USD, when I was spending in NZD. Not to mention after convert into MYR. But since it was something I have eye on it for months. And recently I have few friends started the change too and all came back with good feedbacks. 😀

Next. Jeremy and I are going to eat no meat this coming week. It is something BIG for both of us. I wasn't a meat lover, but Jeremy is. He will be so upset if there is no meat on the table.

Surprisingly, this is a decision made by Jeremy. He told me he pray to the God asking for my granny health with term we are taking no meat for a week. I am touched when he told me so. TBH I wasn't a fan to pray God for something. Because Im afraid of the down side or consequences if I did something wrong in the process. But don't get me wrong, I am a 100% serious and loyal to my religion. I follow the moral my religion taught me.

So we went to do our grocer shopping as usual. And guess what, we have a half full trolley and checked out with 57dollars. It is half of our usual grocery spend.

This might be a good starting that we can have more no meat week in future! 😍

We have gone to Talley's yesterday to submit job application. We have decided to move to other job that seasonal job. Because it doesn't only required you to be fit but strong (physically and mentally). Especially the one we are working with, we are not just the packer but also the tray maker and bagger. The boss always run full speed no matter how many workers he has. Most of the time, we are running and jumping into different lines to help saving the fruits. 😒 

The boss are calculative as in we get paid quarterly if works overtime. But, he always stopped us at 410/ 510, so he dont have to pay the 15mins. Jerk isn't he? And he always siren (alert us to start working) mintues earlier and minutes later (it always passed the smoko/lunch time). That is one of the main reason many of our previous seniors left.

Another drawback was the inspection/packing conveyor is abit low, most of the workers suffered backache after 10hours of working. Don't say we are picky, we have stand in the shed for more than a month, which made us the senior in the house now.

Anyway, my landlady said Talleys isnt a better job than what we experienced with the current packhouse. But we still will give it a try. We have worked in the branch with 12hours shift. We think there is nothing worse than that. 😂

Goodnight. K.

Mood swing

Last Sunday, my aunt told me that granny admitted to the hospital on Tuesday because of lung infection. She is discharged on Tuesday morning. Thanks God. But after work, I received message from my sis. She is home because its school holiday now. She told me granny enter the hospital AGAIN due to short of breath.

After getting pieces of detail, one of my granny dialysis tube is loosen and not functioning well. She was supposed to undergone dialysis on Tuesday. Because of that, her blood and body fluid aren't filtered and lots of toxins are inside her.

I couldn't help but trying very hard not to cry.. yet I can't think straight and tears just drop continuously while I scrolling airline tickets.. all that flashed in my mind were all our memories and promises.. I knew God might want her to leave these pains and suffer behind. But in a selfish way, I wish she can make it till I return to Msia bring her the souvenir I bought for her. And bring her to another road trip. I want to see her smile.. I want to create more memories with her.. I want to let her know how lucky I am to grow up and raise by her..

Ahma, we have a promise. I love you! We are going to meet, hug and laugh together.  Okay? 😘 Bless good health.

K.

Cambodia Planning

Finally, I have bought my ticket back to Msia before my wh visa ends.
We were planning to travel in Australia before we going back Msia. But.. based on a few feedbacks from friends and news, I changed my mind.
Well, I am extremely easy to let my emotions controlled by others. I dont want those stupid racism actions affect my holiday mood. Plus, after do some online researches, Aus has nothing "sparks" me to visit. Lol.
I cant swim (bye to the islands), almost every museum come with entrance fees (backpacker love free), the must eat isnt tempting.. well except the seafood market which I drool every time I think about it. But well, one out of n.. 😂
I would say, I will travel Aus only after obvious reduction of the supremacist, racist or extremist.
Tho I have no opt but to land in Aus for transit back to Msia. Anyway, wish me good luck to avoid unhappy and unpleasant few hours of transit there.

Well well.. So Jeremy was suggesting to go Japan or Korea. But I am more preferably to go to South east asia. You know what, I have been asked by few kiwi colleague about SEA countries. Only I knew, I have limited knowledge to introduce SEA. Even one of my kiwi friend has travelled more SEA countries than I am.

Thailand, both of us went different part.
Indonesia, I personally prefer to go with my girlfriends. 😅
Vietnam, I would want to wait until one of my Vietnamese friend return to her home country.
Brunei, my mom always mentioned wanted to visit there. Maybe its time for us to plan and go there.
Philippine, umm.. zero interest yet. Future maybe?
So.. I vote for Cambodia. A country full of historical and religious place.
But Jeremy was lack of enthusiasm. Bla.. Since I am the one who make decision on our destination, Cambodia it is! ❤

Apart from doing researches, I have another concern. The promise I have made to the environment.
When I searched on must eat foods in Cambodia, most of them were presented in single use plate/ container.
Should I bring along my Tupperware to the night market? How could I clean it after use and before purchase another food? How many containers should I bring? Will the weight of the containers affected my 7kg carry on? Plastic or glass?

As of night market and street foods are always the highlight of my travel itenary, this is a BIG headache for me.

Headache. K..

Minimalism | Zero Waste

I have been adopting minimalism since 2017, still an apprentice obviously..
But I have started a challenge with my sister to clutter unwanted items for 31 days.
Day 1= 1 item, Day 2= 2 items, Day 3= 3 items etc..
I completed it but my sis don't.. loser babe 🤣
Minimalism is not just about clutter free home but the mind as well.
It needs more than just words but actions too.



I wish I can practice and stick to minimalism concept more when I returned to Malaysia this year.
Besides, after I have stayed in an organic farm for a week as a helper.
I found out another interesting concept - Zero Waste


yes!
How I began to fall into this trap?
I mean, when I am leaving the organic farm, I cleared the small trash in my room to the common bin.
I noticed that I produced so little waste for the entire week which is lesser than what I thrown a day back then.
And I started thinking about why?
So, we ate the grown vege from the farm, drink milk from the feed cow, make cheese and butter from the milk, sausages made by the host and make some mint/ lemon tea from the herbs grown in the farm too. We literally produced only food scrap waste which is then feed to the two cute piggy in the farm.
And.. And?
Ya.. We didn't throw anything except for the noodles packaging.
Hence, I started to flash back how many waste I produced everyday..
I have read articles online and found many zero wasters they actually produced just a small jar of waste for years..



I am embarrassed that I produced that amount of waste within a normal day!
I am learning and hopefully I can have some progress to update here soon!

Cheers...K

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! 

It's 2019 🍻

Thinking of last year, we were at Taipei, Taiwan.

This year we are here in Queenstown, NZ. 

Kinda difficult to blend into the music fest here, they are playing local musics.

Umm.. Not a big fan on the style. 

But I love laying on the green grass 🍀, listen to 🎵 and staring at the starry starry sky ⭐

Happy Anniversary, Jeremy.. 💗

Love me more than yesterday.. 😚 

                                                                                                                                                 ....K